


Steal the heat from my body and grind my bones into dust

by CustardCreamies



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Angst and Feels, Animal Death, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Non-Graphic Violence, Side Relationships - Freeform, Transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-07-23 21:09:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16167044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CustardCreamies/pseuds/CustardCreamies
Summary: Kimi thought the wolves in the woods were only wolves. Oh how wrong he was.(A Wolves Of Mercy Falls AU)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So for my entry I've decided on a Wolves Of Mercy Falls AU. It's one of my favourite book series ever and I had a lot of fun writing this. I hope you enjoy! :D

Kimi had never considered the wolves that lived in the woods behind his house to be more than wolves, but then why would he? He’s never really put two and two together.

Kimi’s cottage in Finland backed out onto dense woodland as far as the eye could see and he loved it. In the summer it was magical, but in the winter the very essence of the woods themselves changed. It no longer felt welcoming to walk through the trees, and the dead silence soaked up by the snow spoke of things better left alone.

Winter was when the wolf pack returned. Kimi never saw them in summer. It was like they travelled out of his lands in spring and returned at summer’s end. It never made sense to him but he was just glad when they returned. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was fond of the pack and he had taken to giving them all little nicknames.

There were five in total. One was a huge black wolf who was clearly the Alpha. He usually stood at the front with ears forward as if daring Kimi to approach. Kimi named him Fenrir. Then there was the intimidating brown wolf who always snarled if he caught Kimi staring who he fondly called Asshole. Then there was the quiet sensible looking white wolf and the dark grey wolf. Kimi had called them Snow and Mist. Finally, there was the smallest wolf. He had an unusual coat colour, white with hints of light brown fur. He was stunning to look at and in Kimi’s mind he had come to be known as his wolf. Kimi named him Sun.

Kimi of course fed the wolves in the winter. He liked to help the pack out if he could and he knew hunting would be hard. One day he’s leaving some fresh meat outside for the pack when he hears a rustle from the trees and Sun appears, looking weary with his ears pinned back. Kimi holds his breath, slowly sitting on his heels and watching the wolf move slowly out of the cover of the trees.

Up close he’s even more stunning to look at. His coat clean and crisp, the brown smudges in his fur highlighted against the snow. Kimi can see ribs through the coat and he winces slightly, vowing to himself to feed the pack more.

Sun stops, ears still pinned back and a soft whine leaves him. He’s very unsure about coming out. The woods mean safety and he’s not too sure about Kimi himself.

“It’s okay. Not going to hurt you, see?” Kimi murmurs softly, holding out a slice of meat for the wolf. Sun looks very tempted and Kimi can see the wolf actually consider his options. The wolf walks closer and Kimi can now see his eyes, bright blue. It’s startling. He’s never seen a wolf with blue eyes like this before. Wolf pups had blue eyes, but not adults and these were a very vivid blue and almost human. It was unnerving and Kimi forces himself to look away, you couldn’t stare into the eyes. It was a threat.

Sun creeps ever closer and Kimi holds out the meat to him, holding his breath as the wolf sniffs his hand and then delicately takes the meat from him. Sun gobbles the meat up quickly and then looks at him, his expression silently asking for more.

Kimi huffs out a soft laugh and picks up another piece, the wolf’s ears pricking with interest as he takes it from Kimi’s hand. “Not so scared now are you?”

Sun regards him and then ever so slightly nudges his hand with his nose, making Kimi slowly move his hand and run is down Sun’s fur. The wolf tenses up at the touch for a second as it’s instincts scream at him to run, but then he relaxes.

Kimi is awed, slowly smoothing the fur of the wolf. A song comes to him, one his mother used to sing to him to get him to sleep as a child.

_“I watched over him in winter, I walked among him in the summer._  
_The winter stole my heat, the summer restored my soul._  
_Look beyond the animal and see what’s deep within._  
_For a wolf is only a wolf if winter is here to stay.”_

Sun pricks his ears at the song and Kimi smiles softly. “Do you like that?”

The wolf whistles through his nose and then his ears flicker back and Fenrir appears. The Alpha’s ears are pinned back on sight of Kimi and Sun whines and nudges Kimi to go back to the house. Kimi takes the unspoken warning and slowly moves away from the food, backing up until he’s on the deck.

He watches as Sun snatches up more meat and then trots off over to Fenrir, dropping the meat before him and licking under his muzzle as a sign of dominance. Fenrir regards Kimi for a moment before picking up the meat and disappearing into the trees. Sun follows him after a heartbeat, his gaze lingering on Kimi before he follows after the Alpha.

Kimi watches them leave, a sense of loss filling him once Sun vanishes into the trees. It won’t be the last time he meets the wolf though.

* * *

The town meeting took place every Thursday at exactly eight pm in the main hall. Kimi never usually bothered to attend but his friend Minttu had dropped a hint that Daniel would be taking the opportunity to speak that evening.

Daniel Ricciardo owned a rather large house on the outskirts of town and was very popular with the townsfolk. He attended every single community event going and he had integrated himself with everyone. He was a bright bubbly type who always had a smile on his face. His entire persona spoke of friendliness and trust, which was the exact reason Kimi didn’t like him. Daniel was anything but friendly and trustful. His smile held unspoken need for power and attention and he had a vendetta so strong Kimi was afraid it would tear their town apart.

Mayor Whiting was looking out over the gathered people, all of whom were starting to grow bored of listening to Governor Stroll boast about his son’s latest achievements. “Yes, thank you Mr. Stroll. I think we can all say we’re as proud as you are that your son took Esteban’s place on the football team.”

Lawrence puffs out his chest proudly and Kimi rolls his eyes. Everyone and their cat knew Lawrence’s son got the place on the team because Stroll had pulled some strings with his position on the town council. It was no big secret and everyone despised him for it but it didn’t seem to enter his thick skull that this was not how you got anywhere in life.

“I would now like to move on to our next speaker. Daniel? Would you like to step up?” Whiting asks and Daniel flashes his signature smile and moves to the front of the hall. He waves a hand and someone gets up to bring a screen down over the front of the stage.

“Thank you Mayor.” Daniel smiles pleasantly and turns to look over the assembled crowd. “Good evening everyone. I’m here to talk to you today about a problem we all face and need to tackle. I am talking about the wolf population hanging around the woods behind our town.”

Kimi freezes as photos of the wolf pack are placed on the screen behind Daniel. All of the wolves. His eyes land on Sun and he swallows thickly.

“I think everyone remembers Dan Ticktum?” Daniel questions. “He was an inspiration to our community. He was going to achieve so much.” He sighs softly. “He was taken from us far too soon, and there’s only one thing to blame.”

The screen changes and there's cries of horror around the hall as the picture changes to one of a teenager covered in bites and claw marks on the forest floor.

“These wolves did this to poor Dan. Poor innocent Dan who was just walking through the woods minding his own business.” Daniel shakes his head, bowing his head sadly.

Kimi forces himself to look at the photo, trying to think of his wolf doing this. Sun seemed so gentle and kind. He couldn’t imagine him doing this. Asshole he could. But not Sun. He was hit with the strong feeling that it had been Asshole who had done this. Asshole was nasty and the lowest of the pack. He always snarled if he saw Kimi. A wolf with a hatred of humans was capable of this. Not Sun.

He feels a rush of anger suddenly. Sun and the other wolves were innocent. Why paint them all with the same brush? He coughs to get Daniel’s attention and he points at the screen. “I heard from various sources that he was in those woods with a BB gun. He was planning to hurt them. It’s his fault if they attacked to protect themselves.”

“Ah Kimi. I thought you’d speak up.” Daniel turns his pleasant smile on him. “The reports of the gun have been declared false. Dan didn’t have such a weapon on him at the time and reports like this have been very slanderous towards him. We all know some people in this town liked to believe Dan was a troublemaker. But I knew him for what he actually was. A kind and generous soul.” His smile grows dangerous. “And you know we can’t trust you right? You feed the evil bastards. I’ve seen you and so has Marko. We all know you’re on the side of the wolves.”

There’s a ripple of murmuring in the crowd and Kimi keeps his head up defiantly. “They’re not what you think they are. They don’t bother with us and no matter what shit you wanna force feed these people I know what I heard and I’ve seen Dan cause shit before.”

Daniel sighs softly, almost disappointed. “Oh Kimi. None of us give a crap about your save the wolves bullshit. We all know what needs to be done.”

The screen changes showing a letter and Daniel grins broadly. “I got my hunting licence in the spring. I’ve spoken to the authorities and they’ve given me and a few lucky people the chance to go on a wolf hunt.”

Kimi feels as if there’s a ton of lead in his stomach as the crowd grows excited. A wolf hunt? The townspeople start whispering excitedly and discussing who would go.

“I’ve got the guns. There’s five in the wolf pack. Easy to pick them off. We need about six people with us. If you’ve got experience with guns please come and see me once the meeting is over. The hunt starts at dawn.” Daniel continues, smiling warmly at everyone like he hasn’t just announced his plan to kill the wolves.

Kimi can barely breathe as the rest of the meeting drones on. All he can see is Sun lying dead in the snow. He had to stop this.

* * *

Just before dawn has washed the sky with pink, Kimi slips out of his house and heads into the woods. It’s freezing cold in this pre-dawn but Kimi is determined to find the pack or at least throw a spanner in the plans of the hunters.

He trudges through the snow, teeth chattering as shivers rack his body. The winters here were always brutal and so cold even for the hardiest of people. He was sure he would freeze before he found the pack.

Dawn light is just filtering through the trees when he catches a sign of the pack. A deer dead in the snow with bloodied paw prints all around it. Kimi swallows against the bile in his throat and follows the prints. This was stupid and very dangerous but Kimi knew he had to try. He had to get to the wolves before-

An explosion rips apart the early morning air and the birds scream in alarm from the trees. A gunshot. Kimi feels sick and he quickly races towards the sound, hearing shouts and hollers in the distance.

As he approaches the source of the sound he finds a body in the snow and his breath quickens as he moves towards it. The sick relief he feels when the fur is black not white and brown is nothing compared to the fear he feels for Sun. Fenrir was dead. Sun would be next.

Another gunshot rings out and Kimi runs. He runs and runs and runs until his heart is almost bursting and he can see Daniel and a few others up ahead, guns drawn. He doesn’t think. He just acts.

Daniel aims his shotgun, looking down the barrel as he aims. Before the crack of the gun sounds Kimi flies into his shoulder hard and the shot goes wild. A howl of pain pieces the dawn air, dissolving into a pained inhuman cry and Kimi can barely think about that as suddenly a punch is aimed at his jaw and he goes sprawling onto the ground.

“You stupid fucking bastard!” Daniel snarls angrily. “You stupid fucking little prick. I should fucking shoot you for this.”

“Go ahead!” Kimi spits out, holding a hand to his aching jaw and glaring defiantly. “I’m sure the authorities would love that.”

Daniel aims the gun, clicking the safety off. Kimi lifts his chin, almost daring him as suddenly all around them comes snarling. Mist and Snow calmly walk out of the trees, snarling loudly. They move straight in front of Kimi, much to everyone’s shock. This was not normal wolf behaviour. No wolf has ever faced guns like this before and some nerve in Daniel snaps. The other men have lost their nerve too and they begin slowly backing away, eyes round in fear. Kimi keeps his eyes on them as Daniel follows after them, shouting at Kimi that this wasn’t over.

Kimi is left with the wolves. He keeps his breathing slow and calm as he looks at Mist and Snow. Mist whines low, ears pinned back as he looks ahead of him. Kimi follows his gaze and a sudden feeling of dread fills his heart. Mist and Snow were here. Fenrir was dead. He couldn’t see Asshole anywhere and Sun wasn’t here. He swallows. What if the wolf shot had been Sun?

Mist seems to defy all his instincts and he nudges at Kimi, whining again and looking at the spot where the wolf had been shot. It almost seems like he wants Kimi to look.

Kimi slowly and carefully gets to his feet, walking slow to not frighten the two wolves at his side as he makes his way over to where Mist had indicated.

There’s a small trail of blood on the snow and Kimi feels sick with worry as he starts to follow it, praying it isn’t Sun. Nothing can prepare him for what he finds though.

Where he expects a wolf to be there is in fact a naked man. He’s shivering and covered in blood, a gunshot wound in his shoulder. The man has curly blonde hair and looks way too pale against the snow. The man’s eyes open suddenly and Kimi’s breath dies at the sight of the oh so familiar blue eyes. Sun’s eyes.

The man looks at him, eyes wide in fear and utters only a few words. “Please don’t let me change.”

* * *

Kimi carries the bloodied man back to his home in his coat. The man was insistent he needed to be kept warm and to get him inside quickly. Mist and Snow had vanished as soon as Kimi had found the man and he doesn’t know what to think as he takes the shivering injured man back to his house.

Once inside the man orders the fire to be lit and Kimi does as he asks, placing him besides the fire as he runs around to get the first aid kit. The man tugs the coat firmly around himself and places himself as close to the flames as he can get, almost burning his skin.

Kimi feels as if his brain is whirling. He carries over the first aid kit and carefully sits besides the man. He opens up the kit, taking out some tweezers, cleaning wipes and bandages. “Is the bullet still in?” Kimi asks as he moves to check his shoulder.

The man jumps, turning to look at him with those blue eyes and Kimi feels as if he cannot look away. He’s so much like Sun….

“No...no the bullet isn’t still in and I don’t need dressing.” Sheepishly he pulls down the coat a little to show his skin has healed and Kimi lets out a breath of wonder.

“What are you?” Kimi asks quietly, noting a hint of musk and earth coming from him. He smelt of the forest. Of wolf and wild things.

The man gives him a small sad smile. “I’m the wolf you were feeding a few days ago.”

Kimi swallows and nods, looking at him. “You’re the wolf...that’s not weird at all.”

The man gives him a small nod. “I can explain. But first. Please can you find me the warmest clothes you have?”

* * *

Once he’s fully clothed, the man sits on Kimi’s couch with a mug of tea wearing three jumpers and two pairs of trousers and socks and begins to tell him his story.

“My name is Sebastian. I come from Germany. I came over here for a holiday to celebrate my birthday a few years ago. Me and my friend decided to hike in the woods. It turned out to be a mistake. We got attacked by this wolf. My friend got away but I got bitten.” He sighs softly. “At first nothing happened. I got my shots and made sure the bite didn’t get infected but a few months later I got sick. It felt like the flu. Next thing I know I’m turning into a wolf.”

Sebastian leans back in the chair uttering a little sigh. “I become human again and this keeps happening. I turn into a wolf then human. Wolf then human. I was found by someone in the woods. His name was Jenson. He took me back to his house where he lived with three other people. Nico, Valtteri….and Fernando.”

Sebastian takes a shuddering breath. “Jenson explained what happened to me. I’m a werewolf. But it isn’t like the legends. You’re turned by the bite but it isn’t instant. You’re fine for a little while but then the fever sets in and you begin to shift. At first it’s uncontrollable. You’re constantly shifting back between wolf and human, but then you settle down and it becomes based on temperature.”

“Temperature?” Kimi asks curiously and Sebastian hums softly.

“Yes. Once you stop shifting like this it becomes based on temperature. We become human in the spring once it starts getting warm and we become a wolf in the winter once it gets so cold we cannot ignore the need to shift.” Sebastian explains.

“So the wolves, Fenrir, Mist, Snow and Asshole? They’re not wolves?” Kimi asks, not noticing his slip up.

Sebastian blinks, tilting his head. “Did you name us?”

Kimi flushes red and mutters, “shit,” causing Sebastian to let out a soft chuckle.

“You did! Hey who’s who? I mean, can you tell me which wolves you named what?” Sebastian asks, smiling.

“Fenrir was the black wolf. Mist is the grey one, Snow the white and Asshole that evil looking prick with the brown fur. No offence”

Sebastian pulls a face. “None taken. Asshole is Fernando. Mist is Jenson. Snow is Valtteri and Fenrir...Fenrir was Nico.” He lowers his head, taking a shaky breath. “Nico is dead isn’t he?”

Kimi nods sadly. “I found his body before I saved you….”

“I saw him die.” Sebastian whispers. “The pack...the pack can share images to each other. He was trying to warn us. He sent an image of hunters with guns and then blackness. We all knew…”

“You can talk to each other?” Kimi asks gently, placing a hand on his knee quietly.

“In a way. As a wolf our human thoughts vanish. We lose our inhibitions and we think like wolves since we are wolves. I only know of one wolf in Minnesota that could hold on to his human memories. I can sometimes remember some things. I know you of course. Even when I become human I know you. But because most wolves lose human thoughts we have a gift to replace that. We can send images to each other and we use it to warn the pack of danger.” Sebastian explains.

“So in the spring you all vanish from the woods and I thought nothing of it, you guys become human?” Kimi questions, earning him a nod.

“As soon as it’s warm we shift back. Jenson and Valtteri knew about you and always questioned me about you when discussing our wolf memories. I guess today they realised who you were and lead you to me.”

“They did.” Kimi says softly. “And I’m glad they did.” He pauses. “But it’s winter. It’s snowing. How come you shifted back?”

“The shock of getting shot.” Sebastian tells him, then lowers his head. “And the fact I didn’t shift back to human this year.”

“What?” Kimi asks, frowning. “You didn’t shift back? You mean you didn’t become human in the spring?”

Sebastian shakes his head. “I didn’t.” He says softly.

“But, why? Was it not warm enough?” Kimi asks gently.

“Oh it was plenty warm enough.” Sebastian tells him. “But that isn’t the problem. We only get a number of years of shifting back and forth until we can’t turn human anymore. We become a wolf forever. No one knows why but it happens to every wolf. Some wolves get years of shifting, others only a few. I only got a few years of shifting and this year spring came and I was still a wolf. I’m not sure how long I’m going to stay in this form. I can already feel the need to shift back.” He looks at Kimi. “I don’t want to.”

Kimi feels his gut twist. He doesn’t want Sebastian to be a wolf forever. Not when he knows he’s actually human. “Is there a cure?”

Sebastian shakes his head. “There isn’t. That’s why I asked you to keep me warm. If I can keep warm enough I can stay human.”

Kimi nods, taking in his words. “Can you keep warm enough until spring and stay human?”

“I have no idea, but I do know it...hurts. Trying to keep human and keeping myself together. I feel so...cold..and my bones ache.” Sebastian swallows. “I’m trying so hard to keep myself together.”

Kimi gets up off of the sofa and turns the heating up full blast and picks up a blanket, draping it over Sebastian as if he could keep him human with this alone. Sebastian gives him a soft smile at his efforts and he draws the blanket over himself.

“So come on, what’s my wolf name?” Sebastian asks in an effort to distract him.

“Sun.” Kimi answers with a smile. “Because you have the most unusual fur colour I have ever seen in a wolf.”

Sebastian grins. “And the eyes. We keep our human eyes in wolf form.”

“I noticed that.” Kimi replies, “It’s how I knew you were Sun. So there’s more wolves like you?”

Sebastian nods. “Yeah we’re all over the world, and before you ask no those in hotter climates don’t stay human all the time. Any change in temp such as air conditioning can trigger the shift. We also live longer than normal wolves. Once we stop shifting we live for twenty more years then regular wolves.”

Kimi nods quietly, looking at him. “Twenty years trapped in a wolf’s body.”

Sebastian nods sadly but tries a smile. “I will have my pack. I will never be alone.”

“But they’d leave you in the spring…” Kimi looks sad.

“Jenson is almost through with shifting back and forth. He’ll be Alpha now I suppose...if Fernando doesn’t try to challenge him.” He sighs softly. “Once Jenson is a wolf permanently he said he’s going to travel with me and the pack. Fuck he’s going to be upset….he and Nico were the first wolves of our pack. He was Nico’s second in command.”

Kimi sighs softly. “I am so sorry. I tried to stop them I did.”

Sebastian nods. “I know.” He says quietly. He take a deep breath. “What’s weird is you were spot on with Fernando being an asshole.” He gives him a small smile.

“He always looked so cruel and vicious. Asshole suited him.” Kimi shrugs.

“Well you’re not wrong. He is cruel and vicious.” Sebastian looks away. “He loves being a wolf more than he does being human. He’s the one who bit me.”

“Seriously? And you stay in the pack with him?” Kimi raises an eyebrow at him.

“I have to. There’s safety in the pack. Protection. Jenson won’t allow Fernando to hurt me. Fernando just wants to be Alpha. But no one likes him in the pack and he’s more the Omega. It makes him resentful but he takes it out on Jenson more than me.” He pauses and looks at Kimi, “by the way it wasn’t me. That boy in the woods. That was Fernando. He showed us how he killed him.The boy had a gun of some kind was was hurting Fernando with it, so Fernando attacked. He made sure he wouldn’t turn though. Sometimes you can survive being attacked that badly by one of us, but in this case it was better he didn’t turn. That boy had dangerous anger in him. We all felt it.”

Kimi shivers softly at Sebastian telling him about Dan and he looks at the man. “I’m glad it wasn’t you that killed him. Dan was a troublemaker. He was bad news. I guessed it had been Fernando.”

“Fernando is...crazy. Apparently he turned me because the Pack needed a new wolf. Because the others were running out of shifting years he chose me to turn to look after the pack once they were wolves for good. The problem is I didn’t get the number of years the pack believed I would. I think my years were limited because I didn’t want this and Fernando now hates me because I didn’t thank him for cursing me like this and I didn’t live up to his expectations of a wolf.” Sebastian looks disdainful. “He thinks being a wolf is a gift. It isn’t. I didn’t ask for this life nor want it. I want to be human.”

Kimi takes a deep breath. “Then stay here, with me. We’ll hold up until spring comes and it's warm again and you can keep your human form.”

“I’m not sure we’re going to be able to.” Sebastian looks at him sadly. “You really think you can keep me warm until spring?”

“I will do everything in my power to do this.” Kimi says strongly. “I promise you Seb. I will keep you warm until spring. We can do this, you and I.”

Sebastian pulls the blanket tighter around himself and nods, but it’s clear in his eyes he doesn’t believe a single word Kimi has just said.

* * *

The first month Kimi has Sebastian stay is hard. The house becomes almost like a sauna. Kimi keeps the heat up, making it hot enough to almost choke them. But Sebastian keeps his human skin. Keeps nice and warm. Protected in the safety of Kimi’s home.

Kimi gets to know Sebastian and he likes what he sees. Sebastian is kind and funny and of course charming. He tells stories about the pack and his life before becoming a wolf. He can cook and he knows how to make bread. They watch TV together and read books. Kimi always makes sure he’s warm enough and he never lets Sebastian outside. Even if Kimi opens the front door and the cold seeps in Sebastian begins to shiver, muscles spasming. It’s difficult and Kimi always has to be careful not to let a drop of winter air in. The house is the only thing keeping Sebastian human.

One night Kimi is lying in bed when the wolves begin to howl. It’s not as loud as it used to be. Usually there would be five wolves. Now there were three and they were calling into the lonely night for their packmates.

The door to Kimi’s room opens and Kimi can hear Sebastian climb into the bed and feel him curl up into his back, nose pressed into his neck. “Cold?”

Sebastian nods quietly, pressing into him firmly, breath warm against Kimi’s neck. He had been awoken by the howling and he couldn’t bear hearing them alone.

“Do you miss them?” Kimi asks softly, turning over to face Sebastian in the dark, their noses brushing.

Sebastian seems to think over his words before he replies. “I don’t miss being a wolf, but them? Yeah I miss them.”

“You’ll see them in the spring.” Kimi says gently. “When you’re all human together.”  
Sebastian’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes and he doesn’t answer. Instead he quietly leans across and presses his lips against Kimi’s. At first the Finn feels frozen, not sure how to respond, but then he kisses him back. Uttering a soft sigh into the gentle kiss.

Sebastian carefully deepens the kiss, cupping Kimi’s face. Kimi responds, letting him explore his mouth, a shaky sigh leaving him as he tugs the German closer. Sebastian allows himself to be pulled, moving on top of him and kissing him needily, like it’s the last night they would be doing this.

Kimi tugs at his clothes, cursing the amount of jumpers Sebastian is wearing and Sebastian laughs softly against his lips, sitting up and removing the jumpers and shrugging out of his sweats.

Kimi follows suit with soft eager kisses and before long they’re both unclothed and under the duvet, blocking out the howls of the wolves with soft kisses and wandering hands.

* * *

The next morning Kimi wakes to Sebastian’s warm body next to his and he sighs softly, snuggling into him and pulling the duvet up higher. Keeping him warm and snug. The house is still boiling hot and Kimi feels gross and sweaty so he gently kisses Sebastian’s forehead and carefully climbs out, placing his clothes next to Sebastian so he could get changed once he woke up.

Kimi heads into the bathroom with some clean clothes and gets into the shower, reflecting on what had happened. He had slept with Sebastian. He knew he was attracted to the man, but he also knew this was dangerous. If his feelings were this strong it would only hurt when he failed.

He sighs, leaning his forehead against the shower wall. Two more months. If they could survive two more months until spring…..

He dries and gets changed and exits the bathroom to discover Sebastian awake. He’s dressed and he beams upon seeing the Finn and moves over for soft morning kisses. “Morning…”

“Morning.” Kimi murmurs into the kiss softly, giving him a small smile. He pulls back a little to look at him, seeing how tired and pale he looked. It must take a lot to keep human even with the heat of the house.

“I’ll make some breakfast.” Sebastian says softly, his hand coming up to trace Kimi’s jaw like he was memorising it.

“Not the oatmeal.” Kimi tries to joke, fingers moving under the jumpers to rest on warm skin and Sebastian chuckles softly.

“Fine, but the pack loved it you know.” He teases softly, kissing him again, a long slow kiss.

Kimi melts into the gentle kiss, arms moving to wrap around his neck and kissing him back lovingly. Memorising how this feels for when it’s taken from him.

Sebastian pulls back, eyes soft and full of happiness at the simple kiss. “I’ll make pancakes. Lots of sugar and lemon.”

“My favourite.” Kimi grins, nuzzling his nose and uttering a soft sigh. “Okay. Okay. Keep the kitchen door shut. I’m going to go outside. I need to take the rubbish out.”

Sebastian nods and dives in for more kisses, humming softly against his lips. “This will never get old.” He murmurs.

Kimi chuckles softly. “You’re a pretty good kisser.”

Sebastian laughs. “Well I want to please you. Wow you. I guess I have.”

“You have.” Kimi smiles, kissing him again and then gently tapping his nose. “I really have to take the rubbish out now Kulta.”

Sebastian brightens at the use of the pet name and he utters a long suffering sigh. “Fine. Leave my arms. I guess I’ll go and use my culinary skills in the kitchen.”

Kimi pouts. “You know I’d stay in your arms if I could.” He gently moves out of his arms and moves out into the hallway. “Remember, kitchen door shut. You’re not getting cold now.”

Sebastian nods, moving to leave the room and head downstairs with Kimi. He heads into the kitchen and closes the door tightly. Allowing Kimi to grab the trash bags near the front door and head out into the frigid cold.

Kimi takes a deep breath of the cold winter air and moves out into the snow. Despite the cold the air feels different today. Milder. Kinder. It makes him think that maybe it would start to get better soon. Warmer. The snow will melt. Sebastian would be warm. They would just have to deal with the next winter together that’s all. They could do this. This could work. He could have endless mornings with Sebastian, kissing him awake and taking him on dates. They’d both be happy.

Putting the trash in the bin he hums under his breath, planning on making sure he felt warm before he went back to Sebastian. Even the touch of a cold hand could make him shiver.

As he turns to enter the house he becomes aware of a low growl in the distance. He freezes, slowly turning around and gasping softly at seeing Fernando there on the deck. The wolf’s ears are pinned back and he’s snarling. He’s angry. Jenson kicked him out of the pack when he became Alpha. He wants blood.

Kimi pales, trying to look less threatening and take steps back to the house. “Easy Fernando. It’s okay...I’m going back in. Just calm down.”

Fernando snarls, and then in a blur of speed he’s leaping and knocking Kimi to the ground. Kimi gasps as the air leaves his lungs and he yelps as the wolf furiously snaps his teeth at him, hot stale breath in his face as the wolf tries to lung at his neck. Fernando is aiming to kill.

He cries out, calling for help as he kicks out, trying to knee the wolf to get him off of him but it’s no good and his hands move to try to protect his neck. This was it. This was how he was going to die.

Fernando growls low, biting and snapping and just as he smacks Kimi’s head back onto the ground to get at his neck there’s a yelp and Kimi can see the handle of a knife stuck in the wolf’s neck.

Kimi shoves the wolf off of him and turns to see who had saved him and the blood leaves his face as he sees it’s Sebastian, and he’s shivering violently.

“...Ki...Kimi…” Sebastian’s whole body is shaking and he sinks down onto his hands and knees. Kimi scrambles to his feet, shaking his head.

“No...no no….Sebby...no...no...come on. Back to the house...I can get you warm.” Kimi kneels besides him, hands on his sides as shivers rack his frame. He stinks of musk and earth and wolf.

“No...to..cold...to..cold...gonna shift...no time.” Sebastian cries out, curling in on himself as his shoulders ripple and his muscles spasm.

“No Seb, please. Please just hold on.” Kimi begs, voice breaking. “The door is just there. Seb come on help me!” He tries to drag him back to the door but he’s spasming too much to move and his skin is all wrong, slowly going a pale creamy white.

“No...Kimi...Kimi…” Sebastian sobs, turning away from him and throwing up as the shift takes over entirely.

“No Seb you can't! Please don’t go. Don’t leave me alone. Please, I love you. I love you.” Kimi presses their foreheads together and Sebastian opens his eyes to look into his.

“...Love you...I will..find you…” Sebastian whimpers, the pain overwhelming. With one awful cry he gives in, twisting in on himself as his body breaks itself to become a wolf.

Kimi watches utterly horrified as the wolf steps out of the clothing, blinking a little dazedly as it’s senses comes to him and Kimi slowly reaches out a hand. “Seb?” He asks in a choked tone.

The wolf whines and pins it’s ears back, backing away from his outstretched hand as a howl echoes through the woods.

Sebastian turns to look and Jenson steps out from the trees, ears forward as he looks at the dead wolf and then Sebastian. He flicks his tail. A silent signal for Sebastian to come to him.

“Seb?” Kimi has tears streaming down his face and the wolf turns to look at him, it’s eyes holding no recognition of Kimi. He’s just a wolf and Kimi is just the person who feeds the pack meat. Jenson gives a short bark. He wants Sebastian with him now.

“Go to him.” Kimi swallows, feeling choked on his own tears. “Go back to your pack. Be safe. I’ll do what I can about Daniel. I promise.”

Sebastian whines, listening to the man’s voice and somewhere in his head he can see the man through dull human memories. This man meant a lot to him, somehow. And he’s not entirely sure why.

Carefully he moves closer, nuzzling Kimi’s tear stained face and Kimi gently and carefully hugs him, breathing in his wolf scent before he lets him go.

Sebastian whines and then turns, moving back into the trees. Jenson carefully nuzzles him and then guides him deep into the protection of the woods.

Kimi sits on the ground for a little while, tears dripping down onto the snow. It’s only when he notices a patch of blood slowly staining the crisp white that he becomes aware of it. His hand is aching.

He lifts up his hand and gasps softly. His wrist bears the deep mark of wolf teeth and it’s bleeding heavily. Fernando must have bitten him while they fought.

Holding his hand over the bite mark Kimi looks into the woods and he swallows thickly. He’s not scared about what this means. He only has one thought. “I’m going to find you, Seb.” 


	2. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter approaches and Kimi cannot run anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fell back in love with this story and just had to write a small follow up chapter.

It was almost time.

The cold had gotten worse over the last few days. Gnawing. Biting. The cold had teeth and it sent violent shivers down his frame. He was so cold. He hurt. He was tired of fighting. But he had one more thing to do before he gave up and let winter claim his skin.

There was a cottage just up ahead. It looked quaint and peaceful. A small dot of yellow in one of the windows a promise of life inside. He walks closer, trying to burrow into the warmth of the three jumpers and thick winter coat he wears. He doesn’t know why he was fighting the change. It was what he wanted.

Wasn’t it?

He walks up to the door and swiftly taps, shivering on the doorstep and groaning with the pain. This was stupid. If the door didn’t open soon it would all be over.

The door does open, revealing a man similarly bundled up and it’s not even a second before he’s ushered into the hot heat of the house. It makes him sigh as the pain stops, if only for a heartbeat.

“You’re the man who saved Sebastian.” The man who lets him in states, a fact not a question. “Forgive me, Sebastian didn’t tell me your name.”

“Kimi.” The man answers, voice thick with the effort to keep together. “I’m Kimi, and I know who you are. You are Jenson.”

“I am indeed.” The man called Jenson replies. “You were bitten? After Sebastian changed?”

Kimi nods, moving closer to the warmth of the fire. “I’m close...first shift for the winter.”

Jenson nods, looking sympathetic. “We looked for you. The Pack. We searched the woods high and low and never found you.”

Kimi gives him a wryly smile. “I wasn’t ready to come to you yet. I had promised Sebastian I’d do something for him.”

“Daniel.” Jenson meets his eyes. “You sorted out Daniel.”

Kimi gives a hum, pressing closer to the flames. His eyes are distant as he watches them. “Sebastian told me how the wolf happens. The first few shifts are uncontrolled. Wolf to human, human to wolf, until the first shift for winter.”

Jenson nods. “If you knew what you were, what you had become, why didn’t you come to the Pack?”

“Because I promised him.” Kimi meets his gaze. “I wanted the wolves safe from Daniel.”

“What did you do?” Jenson asks quietly, looking up at him worriedly.

Kimi doesn’t meet his gaze, looking down at his hands. It’s answer enough for Jenson.

“Your first shift. You knew when it was time…” Jenson says, voice soft.

Kimi nods.

“I heard he’d been killed. Even out here news of a wolf attack reaches us. It was you.” Jenson says. Again, not a question. Fact.

Kimi nods again, a small shiver wracking his frame. “He deserved it. Killing Nico, wounding Sebastian…” He trails off, his eyes full of pain. “You’ve looked after him yes? Even when you changed back?”

Jenson nods, looking sad. “He’s the only one of us who can’t change in the spring. He’s a lone wolf during those summer months. It’s hard to hear him howl alone.”

Kimi closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Does he remember me?”

Jenson looks at the fire for a second before answering. “Being a wolf isn’t a loss of memory, not entirely. It’s just what’s important as a human means nothing to a wolf. He does remember you, in some way. Some nights he’d send us images, your face. He gets confused and upset and then howls for you. We’ve done our best with him, but I think even as a wolf he understands what he’s lost.”

Kimi swallows against the lump in his throat. He wouldn’t be alone soon. He looks up at Jenson. “How are you doing? Sebastian told me you were nearing the end.”

Jenson gives him a sad smile. “I shifted to human in August. Last year it was June. It’s getting later. I think I’m done.”

“How do you feel about that?” Kimi questions, looking curiously at him.

Jenson shrugs, taking a deep breath. “It wouldn’t have been so bad if I still had Nico.”

Kimi looks at him sadly. “He meant more to you then a friend?”

Jenson nods quietly. “Nico found me when I didn’t know what I was. He taught me everything. He took me under his wing. He was turned against his will too. His ex. Not a pretty story.” He pulls a face. “We became a Pack, set up our home here. We wanted a place safe for our kind.”

“And now it’s your final year and you didn’t think you’d be alone facing it.” Kimi finishes softly.

Jenson nods in agreement. “I know I’ll be with Sebastian, but it’s not the same without Nico.”

Kimi’s heart squeezes and he nods. “I guess it isn’t.”

Jenson looks at him, his gaze serious now. “You’re part of this Pack now. One of us. I’ve got two more wolves who can still change. Valtteri and a new wolf, her name is Emilia. They’ve changed for the winter. Valtteri could have lasted but he didn’t want Emilia to change alone.” He gives him a sad smile. “He’s smitten with her. It’s nice to see him happy.”

“Did he change her?” Kimi asks, head tilted.

“No, of course not. Emilia told us when we found her it was a brown wolf that bit her. Fernando.” Jenson replies.

Kimi closes his eyes. Fernando. The wolf who ruined all he had had with Sebastian. Forcing Sebastian to face the cold and change. It still haunted his dreams.

Jenson catches his look and shakes his head. “He’s gone now. History. He was a right bastard. I should have never let him be pack.”

“You thought you could change him, make him calm.” Kimi decides.

“He was just crazy though. Nothing could have gotten through to him.” Jenson nods.

Kimi nods. Outside the wind begins to howl and the cold gets through the tiny cracks of the door and windows, biting at him again and he whines. He feels sick.

Jenson watches him, nodding in understanding. “Time to go back to him, but before you do. I need to ask you something.”

Kimi glances up, trying to focus on Jenson and not the cold.

“You can still change, like Valtteri and Emilia. This is my last winter. You’ve got to make sure we’re safe when spring comes for you.” Jenson instructs.

Kimi nods. He understands. He does. He gets up, feeling his heartbeat quicken as Jenson shrugs off his layers. He follows, fingers thumbling as he removes his thick coat and two of the jumpers. This was it. He’d be with Sebastian.

Jenson moves towards the door, already visibly shaking with the cold in just his jumper and jeans and he turns to Kimi, “ready?”

Kimi nods, and there’s no turning back once Jenson opens the door and lets the cold hit them. It’s just like the first few times he’s shifted. The nausea of the change sweeps over him, making him double over in an effort to not throw up. His body shivers uncontrollably and the intense pain lasts for an unbearable few seconds before it’s over and he steps out of his clothing as a wolf.

At first all he can feel is panic. He’s in a house with strange scents all around him and he feels trapped. He pins his ears back and looks towards the open door. There’s a dark grey wolf next to him and the wolf nudges him to follow him out into the trees.

They run out of the house and into the cold night air, racing through endless trees. Kimi keeps with the grey wolf, his only compass in the unfamiliar forest. He’s confused. Snatches of memories filtering through his head, the most strongest of all being memories of a white wolf with patches of light brown fur. This wolf is important, he just doesn’t know why.

After a while the grey wolf pauses in the middle of a clearing and tips his head back to howl loudly into the trees. At first only silence greets them but then a howl returns his call and three wolves appear out of the trees, two pure white wolves and one white with light brown patches.

And then Kimi freezes, looking at this unusually furred wolf and an image appears, faded and misty. A warm smile, bright blue eyes. Something shared in another world.

The other wolf whines, taking a step back in confusion at the image Kimi had sent to him. Tentatively an image comes back to Kimi, ice blue eyes. Warmth and love.

Kimi whines low, moving closer and nudging the wolf’s muzzle and a name seems to float between them. _Sebastian_. It’s him.

It only takes a second for some form of recognition to come to Sebastian, the word _Kimi_ swimming through his head and he whines, pushing against his side with happy small whines.

Kimi nips him, leaping away and racing after the rest of the pack. He wants to run and he wants Sebastian at his side. It only takes a second before Sebastian is a flash of white and brown at his side, leaping and weaving through the trees. They’re together at last. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment/kudo if you enjoyed! :D


End file.
